Involuntary celibacy

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Involuntary celibacy (also known as involuntary singlehood, incel, invcel, or hard up) is chronic absence of sexually intimate relationships or sexual intercourse for reasons other than voluntary celibacy, asexuality, antisexualism, or sexual abstinence. It is the psycho-social opposite of having a sex life. While measuring late celibacy[1] and describing involuntary celibacy,[2] academic researchers have used 'single' and 'celibate' interchangeably. Other academic researchers, such as Denise Donnelly, have objected to such interchangeable labeling, arguing they are not always the same life circumstances.[3]

Involuntary celibate humans are argued to include those castrated against will, heterosexual prisoners, women who lack a required dowry,[4] institutionalized elderly, and some gay men in large metropolitan areas. The term includes those who involuntarily veer from their age peers in normative sexual transitions in a way that is perpetuated into a celibate life course or trajectory. Those who veer from their age peers may feel "off time" due to a combination of factors such as shyness and living arrangements.[3]

Involuntary celibacy is distinct from other forms of celibacy, such as voluntary virginity.[3]

Humans

Subtypes and examples

Among involuntary singles there are 'involuntary temporary singles' and 'involuntary stable singles'.[5][6] Involuntary temporary single humans include the newly divorced. Others may be never-married and unable to find an appropriate mate. Among those unable to find a mate, some become increasingly concerned about never finding a mate while others find enjoyment in involuntary singlehood, including a sense of stability.[5]

There is a chapter about involuntary celibacy in historian Elizabeth Abbott's book The History of Celibacy, which uses the term "involuntary celibacy" verbatim. The examples of involuntary celibacy cited by Abbot include those denied the right to marry by social norms like widows in certain Hindu communities or younger sisters in societies that call for the oldest to be married first, women whose families lack money for the dowries required by their society, prisoners, certain Western domestic servant or educator positions prior to the previous centuries, and men castrated against their will.[4]

Possible contributing factors

According to Elizabeth Abbott, less explicit cases of involuntary celibacy are sometimes caused by living amidst skewed sex ratios. The causes of skewed sex ratios that lead to involuntary celibacy have historically included the death of many men in a war or preferential abandonment or abortion of females. Involuntary celibacy can also be caused by the threat of losing a job if known to be sexually active. Being without access to money needed to deal with a child can also be a cause of involuntary celibacy.[4]

An academic article by Robert C. Brooks and Khandis Blake found that social media references to involuntary celibacy among those who experience it is higher in geographical areas with a larger male-to-female ratio, higher income inequality, fewer single women, and a smaller gender-income gap. Robert and his colleagues reached this conclusion after a statistical analysis of 321 million Twitter posts.[7]

Among the Asian cultures academically studied by Karel Karsten Himawan, single women in these cultures expect hypergamous marriages and this form of marriage is both socially and religiously encouraged. This social desire has remained and not adjusted for the fact that women in these cultures increasingly spend the majority of their time in status-similar social domains which decrease overall sociability. These combined factors are believed to cause involuntary singledom among that population.[8] Muslim women in these cultures express dismay that they will end up with a partner who is financially dependent on them, and this leads them to not marry. At the same time, these women experience encouragement to challenge traditional gender norms which naturally veer toward an increase in house husbands.[8]

While there exists academia which focuses on online subcultural entitlement among the incel population, Himawan's study showed that being in a social contract defined in part by sexual activity is a default, encouraged, and normative stance among all religions he studied. This contributes both to involuntary singlehood and feelings of involuntary singlehood.[8] For example, among highly religious Muslim countries studied, people are socially expected to marry and being unmarried is associated with sin.[8]

Possible psychological consequences

Involuntarily celibate humans will sometimes suffer from intense loneliness, frustration, and depression. In most Westernized societies, additional social standards pressure people to have experienced sexual interaction in some form by their 20s or 30s. If the person lacks any such experience while all of his or her peers do, serious psychological consequences can result.[3]

In the case of news reporter Christine Chubbuck's suicide on live television, Chubbuck's involuntary celibacy is considered to be the driving force behind both her depression and suicide.[9]

Personality

Behaviours associated with incels can include self-absorption and an unhealthy preoccupation with sexual activities, which can be a backlog of sexual arousal which can adversely effect social interactions.[10]

Social consequences

Stigma and bias

In a study of Indonesian culture, singles who remain so after age 30 are stigmatized. They are automatically assumed to be less 'mapan' (financially capable), less 'dewasa' (mature), and less 'tampan' (physically attractive). Among those studied, the most common attribute assign to singles by the study participants was 'berbeda' (deviancy) and marriage was often associated with 'halal' (religiously sanctioned food).[8]

Studies show that Americans tend to judge those unmarried and without children as more unhappy, more self-centered, more envious, more lonely, and less mature than their married-with-children counterparts. The academic Bella Depaulo argues that these broad, negative judgments about singles are often contrary to the best available scientific evidence.[11] Numerous studies of college students showed that college singles believe these types of negative stereotypes assigned to singles,[12] while also believing that they will avoid this fate by getting married.[13] Family achievement is prioritized in America above friends, community, and passion.[11] Marriage is a privileged social status worldwide.[11] DePaulo argues that these attitudes create a bias in academia and as a result academia often assigns inaccurate negative qualities to never-marrieds over marrieds.[11]

Incels are broadly stigmatized in the media because of the actions of a few people in "incel communities".[14]

Discrimination

While the United States has laws to protect against discrimination involving race, color, national origin, sex, age and some disabilities, no such laws exist to protect discrimination against singles.[11]

Married men are more likely to receive promotions and salaries than unmarried men, even when controlling for factors like performance and seniority.[15] In America, companies also offer subsidies to spouses of married workers, such as compensation if their spouse dies, whereas single workers are not offered alternative forms of compensation.[11] Unmarrieds are also treated less favorably in America than marrieds in federal taxes,[16] including estate taxes and capital gains breaks on the sale of their home. Singles also receive less automatic rights to property in inheritance.[11] Single women find it more difficult to receive approval for in vitro fertilization and for adoption compared to married women.[17] Rampant family discounts in commerce are also argued to indirectly make singles subsidize consumption of goods by married couples.[11]

Social exclusion

According to the academic Stanton Peele, American society is "almost entirely organized around being with the one you love".[18]

Incels experience less social support than non-incel men. This is associated with multiple relational issues and mental health issues born from loneliness. This also makes incel people susceptible to dangerous dangerous and harmful online communities who profess to cater to them.[14]

In America, singles are often inter-personally rejected by prior friends who become coupled. There is academic evidence that this is due to the modern pairbonding process. Modern studies show that as couples become more serious, they are more likely to spend more time with each other[19] and acquaintances of moderate closeness are rejected gradually.[20] This is also a common commentary in guides for therapists.[21]

In 1937, the academics Lynd and Lynd observed that during the 1920s that the "unattached man and woman [are] more out of it in the highly paired social life than a generation ago when informal drop-ping in was the rule".[22] This exclusionary attitude is argued to continue today. For example, modern American couples prioritize taking vacations with other couples rather than with singles and more than they used to.[11]

Involuntary celibacy as pejorative

Colloquialisms for involuntary celibacy have become a pejorative in some countries. For example, in some Western countries there exist those who use an abbreviation of involuntary celibacy ('incel') to refer to sexual entitlement or sexual violence rather than literal involuntary celibacy. They primarily use an online forum owned by someone named Lamarcus Small to do so, through broad-brushing larger populations with the behavior of that small forum. The word incel itself is used in media reports in a way that broadbrushes non-sexist involuntary celibates with misognynists and male supremacists.[23] In Italy, the pejorative is often instead "caso umano". In New Guinea the term, "rubbish men" is sometimes used as a pejorative to refer to male involuntary celibates. The phenomenon of virgin shaming is perhaps more notable that resulting pejoratives.

During 2020, the gaming platform giant Twitch updated their policy on hateful conduct and harassment. The new Twitch policy included banning the use of the word 'incel' as an insult, highlighting how the term is often used to negatively refer to an individuals sexual activity.[24][25][26]

The perpetrator of the Toronto van attack had implied he was celibate by calling himself 'incel'. The perpetrator's self-identification as incel, specifically his alleged celibacy, was used as a personal attack against the perpetrator. This type of personal attack against the perpetrator drew some media criticism.[27]

During 2022, prominent Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson broke down in tears after being publicly accused of being a "hero to incels" by a journalist. He went on to say that 'incel' labeling is often a 'casual insult', which 'piles abuse', on lonesome and alienated men.[28]

The peer counselor and feminist YouTube personality Liana Kerzner argues that using incel as a pejorative is rooted in toxic ideas that perpetuate toxic masculinity. She argues that using incel as a pejorative attacks people on the basis of low sexual activity and ties a man's worth to his sexual activity. The journalist Miles Klee argues using incel as a pejorative is similar to high school bullying involving virgin shaming.[29]

Controversy

Only 4% of Americans polled in 2004 believed that single people were stigmatized that year.[30]

A breadth of American academia and news-media post-2014 insinuates that involuntary celibacy is not real and is instead a choice, identified by self-identification or common values with a sexist community or subculture. Some argue that thinking of onesself as involuntarily celibate constitutes an irrational and entitled mindset, and that mating success could occur with therapy targeted at sexism. Other modern academics such as Dr. Andrew Thomas, considers the word 'incel' to have a lot of baggage and makes a point to acknowledge that involuntary celibacy is real. Dr. Andrew Thomas for example, argues that involuntary celibacy has "always existed".[31]

Because of a barrage of recent media reporting on sexist incels, academics in the Anglosphere who believe involuntary celibacy is real are now more likely to use alternative phrasings as a substitute,[32] including "unwanted celibacy",[32] "involuntary singlehood" or "involuntary singles". Another subset of academia focuses on circumstances wherein the sufferer of involuntary celibacy cannot be argued to have a way out, such as those institutionalized against will for fixed periods of time, often labeled as "forced celibacy".

See also

References

  1. ^ Kiernan, KE (1988). "Who Remains Celibate?". Journal of Biosocial Science. doi:10.1017/S0021932000006593. Retrieved 18 May 2024.
  2. ^ Maxwell, Robinson (2020). "A Short Story of a Lonely Guy": A Qualitative Thematic Analysis of Involuntary Celibacy Using Reddit. Sexuality & Culture". Sexuality & Culture. doi:10.1007/s12119-020-09724-6. Retrieved 18 May 2024.
  3. ^ a b c d "Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis" D. Donnelly, E. Burgess, S. Anderson, R. Curry, J. Dillard, Journal of Sex Research 38(2), S. 159–169. (2001)
  4. ^ a b c Elizabeth Abbot (2001). "Coerced Celibacy: Involuntary Celibacy". A History of Celibacy. New York: Da Capo Press. pp. 303–337. ISBN 0-306-81041-7.
  5. ^ a b Stein, P. J. (1978). "The Lifestyles and Life Chances of the Never-Married". Marriage & Family Review. doi:10.1300/j002v01n04_01. Retrieved 18 May 2024.
  6. ^ Hojjat, Mahzad (2024). Modern Relationships: Romance, Friendship, and Family in the 21st Century. Oxford University Press. pp. 55–56.
  7. ^ Ellwood, Beth. "Analysis of Twitter posts finds increased incel activity in US cities where men face higher competition for female partners". Psypost. Retrieved 16 May 2024.
  8. ^ a b c d e Himawan, Karel (2020). "The Single's Struggle: Discovering Involuntary Singleness in Indonesia Through Gender and Religious Perspectives. The Family Journal". The Family Journal. Retrieved 27 May 2024.
  9. ^ "What Made Christine Chubbuck Want To Commit Suicide?", The Lakeland Ledger, August 22, 1974
  10. ^ Russell, Bertrand. 1970. Of Marriage & Morals. Liverlight Publishing Corporation. New York. pp. 286–291
  11. ^ a b c d e f g h i DePaulo, Bella (2004). "Singles in Society and in Science". Psychological Inquiry. doi:10.1080/1047840x.2005.968291. Retrieved 19 May 2024.
  12. ^ Etaugh & Birdoes, 1991; Etaugh & Malstrom, 1981; Morris, DePaulo, et al., 2004
  13. ^ DePaulo & Morris, 2001
  14. ^ a b Travers, Mark. "A Psychologist Breaks Down The Storm That Creates 'Incel' Men – And Offers A Solution". Forbes. Retrieved 20 May 2024.
  15. ^ Antonovics & Town, 2004; Bellas, 1992; Budig & England, 2001; Keith, 1986; Toutkoushian, 1998
  16. ^ Fox, 2004
  17. ^ Millbank, 1997
  18. ^ Peele, Stanton (1983). The Science of Experience A Direction for Psychology. University of Michigan: Lexington Books. p. 104. ISBN 9780669054200. Retrieved 19 May 2024.
  19. ^ Johnson, & Huston, 1983; Surra, 1985
  20. ^ Milardo et al., 1983
  21. ^ e.g., Kipnis, 2003; Schwartzberg, Berliner, & Jacob, 1995
  22. ^ Lynd and Lynd (1937) pp. 67
  23. ^ Czerwinsky, Alyssa. "Beyond The 'Incel Attacker': Media Reporting on Cases of Misogynist Violence". Homeland Security News Wire. Retrieved 15 June 2024.
  24. ^ Palmer, Ewan. "Twitch Includes 'Incel' and 'Simp' As Banned Insults in Harassment Policy". Newsweek. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  25. ^ Kastranakes, Jacob. "Twitch bans 'simp'". The Verge. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  26. ^ Orland, Kyle. ""Simp," "incel" part of newly banned insults on Twitch". Ars Technica. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  27. ^ Berlatsky, Noah. "Don't let 'incel' misogynists like the Toronto killer tell you they're special — I was a virgin until I was 27". NBC News. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  28. ^ Zach, Sharf. "Jordan Peterson Breaks Down in Tears When Asked About Olivia Wilde Calling Him a 'Hero to the Incel Community': 'Sure, Why Not?'". Variety. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  29. ^ Klee, Miles. "'Incel' Shouldn't Be an Insult". Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  30. ^ Morris (2004)
  31. ^ Grace, Macaskill. "My son is a dangerous online incel spewing out vile misogyny just like Andrew Tate' – inside UK's new hate industry". Retrieved 19 May 2024.
  32. ^ a b Grunau, Karolin (2022). "Unwanted celibacy is associated with misogynistic attitudes even after controlling for personality". Personality and Individual Differences. 199. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2022.111860. Retrieved 20 May 2024.

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