Involuntary celibacy

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Involuntary celibacy (also known as incel,[1][2][3] invcel, or hard up) refers to a prolonged state of unwilling celibacy.[1][2][3][4][5][6][7][8][9] Involuntary celibacy can arise due to living arrangements,[5][9] cultural/religious factors,[10] rejection,[5] shyness,[5][9] partner unavailability,[4] rejection hypersensitivity,[2] social penalty,[2][4] and sometimes by force.[4][9] While measuring late celibacy[11] and describing involuntary celibacy,[12][4][3] researchers have used 'single' and 'celibate' interchangeably. Other researchers, such as Denise Donnelly, have objected to such interchangeable labeling, arguing they are not always the same life circumstances.[5]

Involuntary celibate humans are argued to include those castrated against will, heterosexual prisoners, women who lack a required dowry,[4] some institutionalized elderly, and some gay men in large metropolitan areas. The term includes those who involuntarily veer from their age peers in normative sexual transitions in a way that is perpetuated into a celibate life course or trajectory. Those who involuntarily veer from their age peers in normative sexual transitions may feel "off time".[5]

Involuntary celibacy is distinct from other forms of celibacy, such as voluntary virginity.[5] Certain historical types of involuntary celibacy endowed the involuntary celibate with social prestige.[4] Due to anger and fear which resulted from an incel terrorist attack in 2014, singles who the attacker claimed to represent were met with condementation by media. By 2019, some political redefinitions of the term 'incel' emerged in academia to denounce self-identified incels as a whole.[2] The discussion of involuntary celibacy within long-term sexual relationships has historically been the province of self-help books.[6]

Humans

Subtypes and examples

Among involuntary singles there are 'involuntary temporary singles' and 'involuntary stable singles'.[13][14] Involuntary temporary single humans include the newly divorced. Others may be never-married and unable to find an appropriate mate. Among those unable to find a mate, some become increasingly concerned about never finding a mate while others find enjoyment in involuntary singlehood, including a sense of stability.[13]

There is a chapter about involuntary celibacy in historian Elizabeth Abbott's book The History of Celibacy, which uses the term "involuntary celibacy" verbatim. The examples of involuntary celibacy cited by Abbot include those denied the right to marry by social norms like widows in certain Hindu communities or younger sisters in societies that call for the oldest to be married first, women whose families lack money for the dowries required by their society, prisoners, certain Western domestic servant or educator positions prior to the previous centuries, and men castrated against their will.[4]

Possible contributing factors

Involuntary celibacy can be caused by emotional issues, health issues, divorce and/or death of one's partner.[1]

Less explicit cases of involuntary celibacy are sometimes caused by living amidst skewed sex ratios. The causes of skewed sex ratios that lead to involuntary celibacy have historically included the death of many men in a war or preferential abandonment or abortion of females. Involuntary celibacy can also be caused by the threat of losing a job if known to be sexually active. Being without access to money needed to deal with a child can also be a cause of involuntary celibacy.[4]

An academic article by Robert C. Brooks and Khandis Blake found that social media references to involuntary celibacy among those who experience it is higher in geographical areas with a larger male-to-female ratio, higher income inequality, fewer single women, and a smaller gender-income gap. Robert and his colleagues reached this conclusion after a statistical analysis of 321 million Twitter posts.[15]

Among couples

General antecedents to sexual inactivity in relationships have also been cited in academia as potential causes of involuntary celibacy, including relationships stressors, fatigue associated with childbirth, and chronic illness. The mere passage of time in a sexual relationship is also cited as a possible cause as sexual activity typically slows over time. However, in very old age, there is evidence couples become more content with sexual inactivity.[6] Coupled involuntary celibates studied attribute their involuntary celibacy to a wide range of factors including spousal drug use (including SSRIs), aversion to spousal drug use, and spousal history of being sexually abused as a child.[6]

Globally

Among the Asian cultures academically studied by Karel Karsten Himawan, single women in these cultures expect hypergamous marriages and this form of marriage is both socially and religiously encouraged. This social desire has remained and not adjusted for the fact that women in these cultures increasingly spend the majority of their time in status-similar social domains which decrease overall sociability. These combined factors are believed to cause involuntary singledom among that population.[10] Muslim women in these cultures express dismay that they will end up with a partner who is financially dependent on them, and this leads them to not marry. At the same time, these women experience encouragement to challenge traditional gender norms which naturally veer toward an increase in house husbands.[10]

While there exists academia which focuses on online subcultural entitlement among the incel population, Himawan's study showed that being in a social contract defined in part by sexual activity is a default, encouraged, and normative stance among all religions he studied. This contributes both to involuntary singlehood and feelings of involuntary singlehood.[10] For example, among highly religious Muslim countries studied, people are socially expected to marry and being unmarried is associated with sin.[10]

Psychological consequences

Involuntarily celibate humans will sometimes suffer from intense loneliness, frustration, and depression. In most Westernized societies, additional social standards pressure people to have experienced sexual interaction in some form by their 20s or 30s. If the person lacks any such experience while all of his or her peers do, serious psychological consequences can result.[5]

In the case of news reporter Christine Chubbuck's suicide on live television during 1974, Chubbuck's mother considered involuntary celibacy to be a driving force behind both her depression and communicative suicide. Her mother also described social rejection and disconnectedness leading her to feel a sense of futility about work.[16]

Recently, there have been several widely discussed cases of suicides, murder-suicides, murders, and other illegal acts where involuntary celibacy is believed to have played a role. Notable examples include the violent attacks by George Sodini in 2009 and Elliot Rodger in 2014, among others. However, attempts to formally classify similar incidents as related to “incel” status often rely on inconsistent and arbitrary criteria. These classifications frequently involve heavy speculation, and a bias to irrationally broad-brush all incels with misogyny and/or violence.[3] Nonetheless, a small number of misogynistic, similar, isolated events have occurred afterward and been heavily publicized. This has led to attempts to psychologically profile self-identifying incels and involuntary celibates as a whole. One such academic study by Karolin Grunau found that involuntary celibacy in men may be linked to a higher likelihood of holding misogynistic attitudes, even after accounting for personality differences. This study gathered data through an online survey of male incel forum members, male students of a single Dutch University, and underpaid male workers on the Prolific.co microtask work platform.[17]

Personality

Behaviours associated with incels can include self-absorption and an unhealthy preoccupation with sexual activities, which can be a backlog of sexual arousal which can adversely effect social interactions.[18]

Mood and self-evaluation

Couples with little or no sexual activity report a wide variety of negative effects including reduced self-worth, low-self-esteem, depression, sexual and emotional frustration, and feelings of rejection.[6]

Louis-René Villermé argued in Dictionairre des Science Medicales that "absolute and involuntary sexual abstinence" was the most common cause of hysteria, a now defunct mental health diagnosis. The birth control advocate and malthusian Charles Robert Drysdale argued that involuntary celibacy produces rabid behavior in non-human male animals and disordered emotions in both sexes of humans, and that this can be shown by both a priori reasoning and through everyday human experience.[19]

Behavior

Behavioral response to involuntary celibacy varies. Seeking therapy, engaging in prayer, and seeking fulfillment elsewhere are all common behavioral responses.[6]

Social consequences

Stigma and bias

In a study of Indonesian culture, singles who remain so after age 30 are stigmatized. They are automatically assumed to be less 'mapan' (financially capable), less 'dewasa' (mature), and less 'tampan' (physically attractive). Among those studied, the most common attribute assign to singles by the study participants was 'berbeda' (deviancy) and marriage was often associated with 'halal' (religiously sanctioned food).[10]

Studies show that Americans tend to judge those unmarried and without children as more unhappy, more self-centered, more envious, more lonely, and less mature than their married-with-children counterparts. The academic Bella Depaulo argues that these broad, negative judgments about singles are often contrary to the best available scientific evidence.[20] Numerous studies of college students showed that college singles believe these types of negative stereotypes assigned to singles,[21] while also believing that they will avoid this fate by getting married.[20] Family achievement is prioritized in America above friends, community, and passion.[20] Marriage is a privileged social status worldwide.[20] DePaulo argues that these attitudes create a bias in academia and as a result academia often assigns inaccurate negative qualities to never-marrieds over marrieds.[20]

Incels are broadly stigmatized in the media because of the actions of a few people in "incel communities".[22]

Discrimination

While the United States has laws to protect against discrimination involving race, color, national origin, sex, age and some disabilities, no such laws exist to protect discrimination against singles.[20]

Married men are more likely to receive promotions and salaries than unmarried men, even when controlling for factors like performance and seniority.[23][24][25][26] In America, companies also offer subsidies to spouses of married workers, such as compensation if their spouse dies, whereas single workers are not offered alternative forms of compensation.[20] Singles also receive less automatic rights to property in inheritance.[20] Single women find it more difficult to receive approval for in vitro fertilization and for adoption compared to married women.[27] Rampant family discounts in commerce are also argued to indirectly make singles subsidize consumption of goods by married couples.[20]

Social status
Byzantine Empire

The involuntary celibacy of late antiquity eunuchs conferred social prestige. Such eunuchs were given office positions as, "perfect servants". At the time, celibacy was a highly valued cultural ideal. Byzantine culture also viewed Byzantine eunuchs as outside male and female, as well as outside the natural order of the biological world.[28]

USA

According to the academic Stanton Peele, American society is "almost entirely organized around being with the one you love".[29]

In 1937, the academic Helen Lynd observed that during the 1920s that the "unattached man and woman [are] more out of it in the highly paired social life than a generation ago when informal drop-ping in was the rule".[30] This exclusionary attitude is argued to continue today. For example, modern American couples prioritize taking vacations with other couples rather than with singles and more than they used to.[20]

Incels experience less social support than non-incel men. This is associated with multiple relational issues and mental health issues born from loneliness. This also makes incel people susceptible to dangerous dangerous and harmful online communities who profess to cater to them.[22]

In America, singles are often inter-personally rejected by prior friends who become coupled. There is academic evidence that this is due to the modern pairbonding process. Modern studies show that as couples become more serious, they are more likely to spend more time with each other[31][32] and acquaintances of moderate closeness are rejected gradually.[31] This is also a common commentary in guides for therapists.[33]

Involuntary celibacy as pejorative

Colloquialisms for involuntary celibacy have become a pejorative in some countries. For example, in some Western countries there exist those who use an abbreviation of involuntary celibacy ('incel') to refer to sexual entitlement or sexual violence rather than literal involuntary celibacy. They primarily use a single online forum to do so, through broad-brushing larger populations with the behavior of that small forum. The word incel itself is used in media reports in a way that broadbrushes non-sexist involuntary celibates with misognynists and male supremacists.[3] In Italy, the pejorative is often instead "caso umano". In New Guinea the term, "rubbish men" is sometimes used as a pejorative to refer to male involuntary celibates. The phenomenon of virgin shaming is perhaps more notable that resulting pejoratives.

During 2020, the gaming platform giant Twitch updated their policy on hateful conduct and harassment. The new Twitch policy included banning the use of the word 'incel' as an insult, highlighting how the term is often used to negatively refer to an individuals sexual activity.[34][35][36]

The perpetrator of the Toronto van attack had implied he was celibate by calling himself 'incel'. The perpetrator's self-identification as incel, specifically his alleged celibacy, was used as a personal attack against the perpetrator. This type of personal attack against the perpetrator drew some media criticism.[37]

During 2022, prominent Canadian psychologist Jordan Peterson has was called a "hero to incels" by a journalist. In response, Peterson stated that he believes 'incel' labeling is often a 'casual insult', which 'piles abuse', on lonesome and alienated men.[38]

The peer counselor and feminist YouTube personality Liana Kerzner argues that using incel as a pejorative is rooted in toxic ideas that perpetuate toxic masculinity. She argues that using incel as a pejorative attacks people on the basis of low sexual activity and ties a man's worth to his sexual activity. The journalist Miles Klee argues using incel as a pejorative is similar to high school bullying involving virgin shaming.[39]

Controversy

Only 4% of Americans polled in 2004 believed that single people were stigmatized that year.[40]

Early academic psychological research into involuntary celibacy as a life condition was criticized by the psychiatrist Sally Satel as uninteresting and containing poor methodology. Satel was also perplexed why it was being studied at all. Some college students interviewed at the time were also skeptical of the research, with one stating they didn't think involuntary celibacy could be studied. The research was also criticized by journalist Catherine Donaldson-Evans for study conclusions she that she considered common sense already.[41]

A breadth of American academia and news-media post-2014 insinuates that involuntary celibacy is not real and is instead a choice to behave in a certain way and that this automatically enrolls one in a subculture identified by self-identification or common values with a sexist community. However, the earlier academic usage of the term as a neutral life circumstance also continues.

Modern disagreement about the definition of incel was highlighted by the academics Benjamin H. B. Moldrup and Asger Jensen. They argue that popular definitions of 'incel' which are identity based or focused on denunciation of incels do not capture the meaning of the term as it is defined by incels broadly along with other academics. They argue the 'incel' definitions focused on condemning incels or on demarcating an identity fail to take into account that online incels use online communities primarily for meaning-making in sexual frustration moreso than participation in a culture or group.[2]

Because of several, highly-publicized instances of violence in the Anglosphere where both violence and involuntary celibacy play a role, there have been attempts to formally classify an "incel-related attacker" in academia, media and some law enforcement. However, such attempts at formal classification contain arbitrarily differing thresholds for proof of incel status and lack a cohesive conceptualization of incel ideology.[3]

Because of a barrage of recent media reporting on sexist incels, academics in the Anglosphere who believe involuntary celibacy is real are now more likely to use alternative phrasings as a substitute,[17] including "unwanted celibacy",[17] "involuntary singlehood" or "involuntary singles". Another subset of academia focuses on circumstances wherein the sufferer of involuntary celibacy cannot be argued to have a way out, such as those institutionalized against will for fixed periods of time, often labeled as "forced celibacy".

See also

References

  1. ^ a b c Blalock, Kay J. (2001). "Celibacy". In Hawes, Joseph M.; Shores, Elizabeth F. (eds.). The Family in America: An Encyclopedia, Volume 2. The Family in America. Santa Barbara, California: ABC-CLIO. pp. 131–132. ISBN 1576072320. Retrieved 2015-12-29.
  2. ^ a b c d e f Moldrup, Benjamin H. B. (19 August 2022). "Hidden Tragedies of the Self: the Stalemate of Involuntary Celibacy". Human Arenas. 7: 156–165. doi:10.1007/s42087-021-00263-6. Retrieved 2 September 2024.
  3. ^ a b c d e f Czerwinsky, Alyssa. "Beyond The 'Incel Attacker': Media Reporting on Cases of Misogynist Violence". Homeland Security News Wire. Retrieved 15 June 2024.
  4. ^ a b c d e f g h i Elizabeth Abbot (2001). "Coerced Celibacy: Involuntary Celibacy". A History of Celibacy. New York: Da Capo Press. pp. 303–337. ISBN 0-306-81041-7.
  5. ^ a b c d e f g h "Involuntary celibacy: A life course analysis" D. Donnelly, E. Burgess, S. Anderson, R. Curry, J. Dillard, Journal of Sex Research 38(2), S. 159–169. (2001)
  6. ^ a b c d e f Donnelly, D., and Burgess, E. (2008). The decision to remain in an involuntarily celibate relationship. Journal of Marriage and Family 70(2):519-535.
  7. ^ Donnelly, Denise; Burgess, Elisabeth; Anderson, Sally (2005). Readings in Family Theory. SAGE. pp. 14–. ISBN 978-1-4129-0570-1.
  8. ^ Bouchez, Colette. "Sexless in The City". WebMD. Retrieved 4 September 2024.
  9. ^ a b c d Lehmiller, Justin (2023). The Psychology of Human Sexuality (third ed.). Wiley. p. 205. ISBN 9781119883975. Retrieved 18 September 2024.
  10. ^ a b c d e f Himawan, Karel (2020). "The Single's Struggle: Discovering Involuntary Singleness in Indonesia Through Gender and Religious Perspectives. The Family Journal". The Family Journal. Retrieved 27 May 2024.
  11. ^ Kiernan, KE (1988). "Who Remains Celibate?". Journal of Biosocial Science. doi:10.1017/S0021932000006593. Retrieved 18 May 2024.
  12. ^ Maxwell, Robinson (2020). "A Short Story of a Lonely Guy": A Qualitative Thematic Analysis of Involuntary Celibacy Using Reddit. Sexuality & Culture". Sexuality & Culture. doi:10.1007/s12119-020-09724-6. Retrieved 18 May 2024.
  13. ^ a b Stein, P. J. (1978). "The Lifestyles and Life Chances of the Never-Married". Marriage & Family Review. doi:10.1300/j002v01n04_01. Retrieved 18 May 2024.
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  16. ^ "What Made Christine Chubbuck Want To Commit Suicide?", The Lakeland Ledger, August 22, 1974
  17. ^ a b c Grunau, Karolin (2022). "Unwanted celibacy is associated with misogynistic attitudes even after controlling for personality". Personality and Individual Differences. 199. doi:10.1016/j.paid.2022.111860. Retrieved 20 May 2024.
  18. ^ Russell, Bertrand. 1970. Of Marriage & Morals. Liverlight Publishing Corporation. New York. pp. 286–291
  19. ^ Drysdale, Charles (1982). The Population Question According to T. R. Malthus and J. S. Mill. G. Standring. p. 20. Retrieved 18 September 2024.
  20. ^ a b c d e f g h i j DePaulo, Bella (2004). "Singles in Society and in Science". Psychological Inquiry. doi:10.1080/1047840x.2005.968291. Retrieved 19 May 2024.
  21. ^ Etaugh & Birdoes, 1991; Etaugh & Malstrom, 1981; Morris, DePaulo, et al., 2004
  22. ^ a b Travers, Mark. "A Psychologist Breaks Down The Storm That Creates 'Incel' Men – And Offers A Solution". Forbes. Retrieved 20 May 2024.
  23. ^ Antonovics, Kate. "Are all the good men married? Uncovering the sources of the marital wage premium". American Economic Review. 94 (2): 317–321. doi:10.1257/0002828041301876. Retrieved 3 September 2024.
  24. ^ Bellas, Marcia (1992). "The Effects of Marital Status and Wives' Employment on the Salaries of Faculty Men: The (House) Wife Bonus". Gender & Society. 6 (4): 609–622. doi:10.1177/089124392006004005. Retrieved 3 September 2024.
  25. ^ Keith, P. (1986). "The social context and resources of the unmarried in old age". International Journal of Aging and Human Development. 23: 81–96. doi:10.2190/GJVN-PNN9-4JBQ-19DH. Retrieved 3 September 2024.
  26. ^ Toutkoushian, Robert (1998). "Racial and marital status differences in faculty pay". Journal of Higher Education. 69 (5): 513–529. doi:10.2307/2649108. Retrieved 3 September 2024.
  27. ^ Millbank, Jenni (1997). "Every sperm is sacred? Denying women access to fertility services on the basis of sexuality or marital status" (PDF). Alternative Law Journal. 22: 126–129. Retrieved 3 September 2024.
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  29. ^ Peele, Stanton (1983). The Science of Experience A Direction for Psychology. University of Michigan: Lexington Books. p. 104. ISBN 9780669054200. Retrieved 19 May 2024.
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  31. ^ a b Milardo, Robert (1983). "Developing close relationships: Changing patterns of interaction between pair members and social networks". Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 44: 964–967. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.44.5.964. Retrieved 4 September 2024.
  32. ^ Surra, Catherine (1985). "Courtship types: Variations in interdependence between partners and social networks". Journal of Personality and Social Psychology. 49: 357–375. doi:10.1037/0022-3514.49.2.357. Retrieved 4 September 2024.
  33. ^ Schwartzberg, Natalie (1995). Single in a married world: A life cycle framework for working with the unmarried adult. W.W. Norton. ISBN 0393702057. Retrieved 4 September 2024.
  34. ^ Palmer, Ewan. "Twitch Includes 'Incel' and 'Simp' As Banned Insults in Harassment Policy". Newsweek. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  35. ^ Kastranakes, Jacob. "Twitch bans 'simp'". The Verge. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  36. ^ Orland, Kyle. ""Simp," "incel" part of newly banned insults on Twitch". Ars Technica. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  37. ^ Berlatsky, Noah. "Don't let 'incel' misogynists like the Toronto killer tell you they're special — I was a virgin until I was 27". NBC News. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  38. ^ Zach, Sharf. "Jordan Peterson Breaks Down in Tears When Asked About Olivia Wilde Calling Him a 'Hero to the Incel Community': 'Sure, Why Not?'". Variety. Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  39. ^ Klee, Miles. "'Incel' Shouldn't Be an Insult". Retrieved 8 October 2022.
  40. ^ Morris (2004)
  41. ^ Donaldson-Evans, Catherine. "Surprise! Researchers Find That Sexless = Sadness". Fox News. Retrieved 20 September 2024.

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